雅思大作文“一边倒”能拿高分吗？

可以～当然可以！～

先给大家分享剑桥雅思“一边倒”的高分范文^_^

然后我会解释为什么一边倒可以拿高分！

范文1

题目：Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? (剑2, Test3, 8分范文)

Before talking about the essential role of death penalty, you have to think about the meaning, the purpose, of any kind of punishment. (背景) If you consider that the purpose is to prevent the guilty from being nasty again, you can be seduced by an argumentation in favour of the suppression of capital punishment. (承认) But you (回应，暗示作者观点) have to think about another aspect of the problem: a punishment is also useful to impress people, to make them fear the law. (理由1) In fact, let’s take the example of a young misfit, which has grown in a violent atmosphere, influenced by older delinquents, etc … He lives in the streets; he’s got no aim but to survive. This is the kind of person who could possibly kill someone for money, or even for fun … Why would he fear prison? Life would be easier for him there. (证据) In addition, in many cases, when you behave normally, you can benefit from penalty reductions. (理由2) This young misfit needs to be impressed; he needs to know that the law is a frontier. When you cross it, you can lose your life. That is why capital punishment helps keeping a distance between robbery and murder. If you abolish it, you suppress the difference between these two types of crime, which are completely different. (证据)

But there is also a limit to define: even if death penalty is unavoidable, it would be a crime to apply it to inadequate cases. If there is no premeditation or past facts which can justify such a punishment, it is far too strict to apply death penalty. (承认) That is why the lawmakers have to establish precisely the context in which capital punishment can be pronounced. That is the price to pay to limit violence without using excessive violence. (回应)

范文2

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?(剑9，Test2，8分范文)

It has been suggested that high school students should be involved in unpaid community services as a compulsory part of high school programmes. Most of the colleges are already providing opportunities to gain work experience; however these are not compulsory. (背景) In my opinion, sending students to work in community services is a good idea as it can provide them with many lots of valuable skills. (作者观点) 

Life skills are very important and by doing voluntary work, students can learn not only how to communicate with others (理由1) and work in a team (理由2) but also how to manage their time (理由3) and improve their organizational skills (理由4). Nowadays, unfortunately, teenagers do not have many after-school activities. After-school clubs are not longer that popular and students mostly go home and sit in front of the TV, browse Internet or play video games. (前提) 

By giving them compulsory work activities with charitable or community organisations, they will be encouraged to do something more creative. (理由5) Skills gained through compulsory work will not only be an asset on their CV but also increase their employ ability. (理由6) Students will also gain more respect towards work and money as they will realise that it is not that easy to earn them and hopefully will learn to spend them in a more practical way. (理由7)

Healthy life balance and exercise are strongly promoted by the NHS, and therefore any kind of spare time charity work will prevent from sitting and doing nothing. (理由8) It could also possibly reduce the crime level in the high school age group. (理由9) If students have activities to do, they will not be bored and come up with silly ideas which can be dangerous for them or their surroundings. (解释)

In conclusion, I think this is a very good idea, (总结) and I hope this programme will be put into action for high schools/colleges shortly. (延伸：呼吁)

这两篇剑桥雅思官方给出的分数都是8分～

为什么“一边倒”也可以拿高分？大家要知道，大作文主要考察论证能力和和表达能力。论证能力主要体现在逻辑，如论点、理由、论据、承认、部分承认对方观点、反驳对方观点、给出解决方案、评估解决方案等。表达能力主要体现在遣词造句，如是否准确有效扣题，行云流水，句型措辞多样，具备学术风格，具备可读性，具备画面感等。 

大作文整体的逻辑要具备说服力（有理有据自圆其说），给出观点并且用有效的理由和证据证明你的观点。这里的说服力要注意中西方思维方式的差异，要考虑到你的读者是否能认同你的观点，能否达成共鸣。有一些中国考生认为合理的证据，老外可能无法理解，这就会导致论证失效，严重影响分数。

表达能力跟考生的英文功底和知识面有关。表达能力的提高要考生勤劳的创作并且老师不断的修改。捷径就是，考生按照专业老师的要求创作，然后老师精细的批改点评，之后学生继续按照老师的要求改改改，直到满意为止。

曾经有位学生写作目标7分，问我是否可能？我的答案是肯定的！！！但是，一定要不断的勤学苦练～最终她考到了写作7分～我还记得她交给我作文都是10篇10篇的交～我很欣赏她的努力～天道酬勤！

写作提高的这个过程需要师生的勤劳和耐心。No pain, no gain～虽然写作是最难的一项，考生对写作的提高还是要充满信心～Faith can movemountains~

备注：考生们要注意对于Discuss both views and give your opinion和Discuss the advantages and disadvantages这类题目是不可以一边倒，要采用平衡写法～